What Netflix’s ‘A Toxic Love Story’ reveals about coercive control

Netflix’s A Toxic Love Story has drawn attention for its twists, but underneath the drama sits something our domestic abuse solicitors see in their work every day: coercive control. Not the version people picture when they hear the phrase, but the quieter, harder-to-prove version that plays out through pressure, isolation, money and a carefully built narrative.

In this blog, we look at what this documentary tells us about coercive control and why it matters beyond the screen.

A quick recap

Ian Diaz and Michelle Hadley meet, get engaged, and buy a condo (like an apartment) together using Michelle’s life savings. Shortly after, Ian starts pressuring Michelle into sexual acts with strangers while he watches. Michelle, in her first serious relationship, agrees once, hoping it will be enough to satisfy him and that the relationship will settle. Sadly, it doesn’t. She is left distraught; the relationship ends, and she moves back in with her parents while trying to recover her investment in the condo.

Ian, however, moves on quickly. He meets Angela, and within a short time she has moved into the condo. She falls pregnant with twins, and they get married. Angela then starts receiving threatening emails and is also physically attacked, all allegedly on Michelle’s orders. Michelle is arrested and held without bail.

In a true plot twist, it’s revealed that Angela faked her pregnancy. It also transpires that this was not the first time Angela had built a false narrative to secure housing and financial support from a partner. Ian, in turn, accuses Angela of inventing the threats from Michelle. Michelle is released after almost three months in prison.

An investigation proves it was Ian who curated the false threats to keep sole control of the condo. He is arrested, found guilty by a jury and sentenced to 10 years’ imprisonment.

Why our instincts get it wrong

For most of this story, Michelle looks like the villain; an obsessive ex, sending threats and arranging violence. Everyone around her, including the Police, initially treats her guilt as the obvious explanation.

This is one of the most common features of coercive control cases: the person doing the controlling rarely looks like the problem. Ian did not need to be caught being physically abusive; he needed a narrative that pointed elsewhere, and he built one carefully enough that it was believed for months.

Coercive control depends on the abuser appearing reasonable, even sympathetic, while the person raising concerns is painted as unstable or attention-seeking. This is why so many coercive control victims are reluctant to come forward; they know how they might look next to a partner who seems calm and in control.

Two women, two different forms of manipulation

It would be easy to blame Angela for being manipulative too. Her fake pregnancy and history of misleading previous partners are real and troubling, but it does not cancel out what Ian did. Ian pressured Michelle into something she did not want. He then engineered a story that saw her imprisoned for a crime she did not commit. Two separate people can behave badly in the same story without one excusing the other.

This matters because in real cases, we often see this same instinct. If the ‘victim’ has flaws or ‘issues’ such as mental health conditions, or has done something wrong themselves, people assume the alleged abuse must be exaggerated or invented. It is rarely that simple. People are not required to be perfect to be a victim of coercive control.

What coercive control actually looks like in law

Coercive control has been a criminal offence in England and Wales since 2015, under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act. It does not require physical violence, although sometimes it is an additional factor.

Coercive control covers a pattern of behaviour designed to make someone feel isolated and/or afraid. Common examples of coercive control include:

• Financial abuse, such as controlling shared finances or property (the condo, bought with Michelle’s savings, sits right at the centre of Ian’s motive)
• Pressuring a partner into sexual acts they are uncomfortable with
• Isolating a partner from friends, family or support
• Monitoring, threatening, or manipulating a partner’s reputation
• Using deception to control an outcome, including manufacturing ‘evidence’ against someone

Why coercive control often goes unreported

Coercive control is difficult to investigate because it is built to look like something else. Understandably, Police, and sometimes loved ones, respond to what is in front of them. We recently wrote about why coercive control is so under-recognised, particularly in same-sex relationships; read it here.

This is exactly why early, specialist advice matters so much in cases involving coercive control. The details that expose a false narrative – financial records, timelines and digital evidence – do not always surface on their own. They need a professional to look for them.

What to do if this feels familiar

If anything in this story felt uncomfortably familiar, that discomfort is worth listening to. You do not need to have experienced something as extreme as Michelle’s story for it to count.

You also do not need a Police report to start legal proceedings. Our domestic abuse lawyers can explain your options and talk you through next steps, including making an application for a Non-Molestation Order or Occupation Order.

Contact our domestic abuse solicitors today

If you recognise any part of this story in your own relationship, our specialist team is here for a confidential conversation. Call us on 0117 325 2929 or fill out our enquiry form and we will be in touch.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 999 and ask to speak to the Police.