Navigating child arrangements at Christmas: a legal guide for separated families
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! But for some, Christmas can cause tension and disagreements within families, particularly separated ones.
If you and your partner are separated and have children together, you may be wondering how to agree on arrangements for your children in the lead-up to Christmas. To help you with this, our child law solicitors have provided a short guide of things you may wish to consider.
How to manage Christmas when children live between two homes
Figuring out the logistics around when and how your children can spend time with both their parents over the Christmas period can be tricky. Disputes about arrangements for children during this time of year are common; however, they can often be easily avoided with the right legal advice and planning.
The main thing to remember is that the children’s welfare should always be the main priority. It is also important to protect your own well being, and parents should look to agree on arrangements that work for both parents, as this helps to ensure your children enjoy the festive period as much as possible.
Understanding your Child Arrangements Order
A Child Arrangements Order is a court order that sets out where your child lives, who they have contact with and any other relevant arrangements.
Separated parents can apply for a Child Arrangements Order by either asking the court to draw up an agreement they have already reached into a legally binding document, or, in the absence of an agreement, ask the court to decide on what arrangements are in the child’s best interests.
You can find more information about Child Arrangements Orders here.
Do existing Child Arrangement Orders apply at Christmas?
Yes, existing Child Arrangement Orders apply at Christmas, over the holidays and all year round. They often include specific provisions for special holidays, like Christmas.
If you would like to change the arrangements stated in a Child Arrangements Order, you should first try to agree on a new arrangement with the other parent. It is best to agree on this well in advance of the Christmas holidays and put the agreement in writing to avoid any misunderstandings or confusion.
If the other parent does not agree to change the arrangements, you could consider making an application to vary or discharge the existing Child Arrangements Order, if this cannot be agreed between you. It is important to seek legal advice as early as possible to ensure there is sufficient time for a court application to be made, if necessary.
Our specialist children lawyers can help you with agreeing arrangements outside of court, and/or provide you with advice on how to apply to vary or discharge an existing Child Arrangements Order.
When there’s no formal agreement in place
If your Child Arrangements Order does not specify arrangements for Christmas (or any other holiday), or you do not have a formal agreement in place (perhaps because you haven’t reached that point in your separation or divorce), it is wise to get this sorted as soon as possible.
You should think about what arrangements would be in the best interests of your children. Try to discuss this with the other parent as soon as possible, so that you have time to seek legal advice if you can’t agree.
If you can agree on arrangements with the other parent, you do not necessarily have to get the agreement drawn up in a legally binding court order. However, it is often a good idea to set out your agreement in writing to avoid any misunderstandings.
Practical options for splitting Christmas
In most cases, it is often beneficial for your children to spend quality time with both parents over Christmas. However, this may not always be practical. Here are some starting points and ideas of how you could split Christmas between you:
- Christmas Eve with one parent, and Christmas Day with the other (don’t forget to decide on travel logistics and where the children spend the night/s).
- Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one parent, and Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day with the other.
- Agree on a Christmas period (such as Christmas Eve to Boxing Day 12pm) that alternates each year between each parent.
Whatever you decide, it’s important that all relevant family members are aware of your plans, to avoid any awkward conversations or unexpected visitors!
Top things to consider when agreeing on child arrangements at Christmas
- Agree on logistics early on and put this in writing (even if it’s an email or WhatsApp message). For example, consider where the children will be handed over; will it be halfway? Or will each parent be responsible for travelling one way? Who will the children have Christmas Dinner with?
- If you live far away, it may be nice to plan something to do with your children at the handover location, such as visiting a Christmas market together. If things are amicable, you may be able to do this with the other parent.
- Agree on which gifts each parent is buying for your children to avoid duplication, and consider how presents will be passed between you to ensure both parents have gifts to open with your children. Don’t forget Father Christmas! Perhaps he visits both homes…
- Create your own traditions. For example, your children could have a Christmas ‘day’ on Christmas Eve with one parent, then another on Christmas Day itself!
- Don’t forget your extended family. You may be able to agree arrangements where your child can see other family members, such as their grandparents and cousins, over the Christmas period.
Don’t forget indirect contact
Indirect contact, for example, video calls or text messages, can be really helpful to ensure that your children can celebrate Christmas with both parents, particularly if they live far away or are spending several days away from either parent. It is wise to agree when and how this will happen in advance to avoid any unexpected or unwelcome interruptions.
What if we can’t agree?
If you do not have a Child Arrangements Order in place, our child law solicitors can help you with agreeing arrangements with the other parent. Alternatively, if attempts to agree arrangements between you have failed, our specialist team can assist you and provide you with legal advice, including:
- Working with the other parent’s solicitor (if discussions between you are not working) to negotiate arrangements in a collaborative, conflict-free way.
- Refer you to mediation, which can help you to settle things quickly and without court proceedings.
- Applying for a Child Arrangements Order or Specific Issue Order that clearly sets out arrangements for your children.
Our children lawyers will do everything they can to help you come to an amicable agreement outside of court. However, we understand that this isn’t always possible. If court proceedings are necessary, our team will guide you through the process and work with external experts such as barristers and coaches to ensure you are fully supported.
Contact our child arrangements solicitors
If you are struggling to come to an agreement about arrangements for or contact with your children, we can help. Call our child law solicitors on 0117 325 2929 or fill out our online enquiry form.
